Comeback
by izzie579
Summary: Shane left, but she returns five years later. How will Carmen react? Will she be able to forgive Shane? Did Shane really change? Shane POV
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1/?**

I stare at her, not knowing what to say. She stares back, and it makes me uncomfortable.

Then she breaks the silence. "Shane, don't do this."

Her voice is steady, but I see the pain in her eyes. But its nothing compared to the pain I'm feeling. Not that I'll show it. "I'm sorry." It sounds hollow. It isn't, but she thinks it is.

"How can you do this to me, after everything we've been through?"

I avoid her eyes. I will only lose myself if I look into them, the little control that I have left.

She speaks again. "I don't want you to go."

I close my eyes. "I don't want to go," I whisper. Its the truth.

"Then don't. Stay here, with me."

I sigh softly. "I can't."

She's angry, I can feel it. I'm still avoiding her eyes. She tries to touch my shoulder, but I move away. I don't have the strength to let her touch me, we both know that I'll lose control if she does.

"Why? Why do you always run?"

I shrug. "I can't commit, you know that."

She knows it too well. "Shane, I lo-"

"No. Don't say it."

She closes her eyes and the tears stream over her cheeks. I want to wipe them away, but instead I turn my back on her. "I really am sorry. But I can't do this. You have to move on, Carmen."

"Maybe I don't want to," she says.

I walk out of the house, and I don't look back until I'm in my old pick-up.

She's looking at me through the window. She's still crying. I can read the words on her lips.

"I love you too," I whisper. "That's why I'm leaving."

She turns away, and I don't know if she knows what I said. But it doesn't matter. I'm already gone.

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Its been five years. The first year was torture. The second was agony. The third and fourth was lonely. The fifth, numb.

I walked into the Planet, searching for a familliar face. They wouldn't recognize me, but I'd know them if I saw them.

I got in line and ordered a coffee, scanning the crowd.

Here and there were faces I knew, but I decided to keep to myself for the time being. I grabbed my coffee and made myself comfortable at an empty table. It felt weird being back, after being out of touch for so long.

I watched the people, and smiled to myself when I saw Alice. She was chatting animatedly on her phone. Some things never change, I noted.

"Mind if I join you?"

I glanced at the redhead who spoke to me. "Not really."

She smiled at me. "I'm Jessica."

"Shane," I said, still scanning the crowd.

"Are you looking for someone? Or something?" Jessica asked, winking.

I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood for conversation.

Jessica winked at me again. "You'll be surprised at what you can find when you aren't looking."

Before I could reply, I heard an achingly familiar voice. But it wasn't calling my name.

"Jess! There you are!"

I ducked my head, not daring to look up.

"Hey babe," Jessica said. "You're early."

I heard the scraping of a chair being pulled out. I held my breath, waiting for the inevitable.

"I got here like ten minutes ago! Who's your friend?"

Jessica nudged my foot under the table. "That's Shane. She's not much of a talker."

I felt her eyes on me. Curious eyes. I could only imagine what must be going through her head.

"Hey," she said. "I'm Alice."

I looked up. "Yeah, I know."

"Oh my God! Holy shit! Shane?"

I nodded indifferently. "That's my name."

Alice jumped out of her seat and hugged me tightly. "When did you get back? How are you? Where have you been? Where are you staying? Are you staying? Have you seen Carmen?"

I stiffened. "She's still here?"

Alice pulled back instantly. "Oh God, Shane I'm sorry!"

I clenched my fist. "Its all good."

"It still hurts, doesn't it?" Alice asked.

I nodded, not really trusting my voice.

"Shaney, do you want to see her?"

Jessica watched us with interest, obviously confused as to how we knew each other.

"No, I didn't come here to see her. I'm here for business," I said coldly.

Alice sighed. "You haven't changed much, have you? I can still read you like a book. You hurt her so bad, she's stopped DJ'ing."

My head snapped up. "She doesn't DJ anymore?"

"No, she cancelled everything after you left. She's been really depressed."

"What is she doing now?"

Alice shrugged. "I don't really know. We see her from time to time, but I think she avoids us."

I groaned softly. "This is all my fault."

"You'll fix it, Shaney. You love her, don't you?" Alice grinned at me.

"Yeah, I do love her. But I left, and I don't think she'd want to see me."

Alice gave my hand a sympathetic pat. "You are Shane McCutcheon, you can do anything."

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: it gets better, eventually. I want to explore Shane's change in lifestyle a bit more before we meet up with Carmen**

**R&R? (:**

I had no right to be there. I left her, I shouldn't be crawling back with my tail between my legs. It shows weakness. Shane McCutcheon is not weak.

I made the feeble excuse to Alice that I had bussiness to do in LA. She used to know when I lied. But I've changed.

Five years away from everyone I had came to love, had opened my eyes.

I quit smoking, I only drank one or two beers when I went out. That is, if I went out. I focussed on work, getting my name out there and getting noticed by some big Hollywood names. I've always been close to LA, but I never dared to come back until now. I still don't know why I did.

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"Earth to Shane!" Alice called over the loud music.

I shrugged at her. "I think I'm gonna head out," I said loudly, so Jess could hear too.

"Where are you staying?"

I hadn't planned on staying. In fact, I hadn't planned anything. I was considering sleeping in my truck, when Alice's face lit up. "You can stay with us! Then you don't have to pay for a hotel or anything!"

I sighed softly. "Yeah, OK. But I really wanna leave."

"Lets go then," Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the club, Jess trailing behind.

Alice showed me to the guest room. "You just make the place your own, kay?"

I smiled at her. "Thanks Al. I just wanna get some shut-eye."

She took the hint and left. I sat on the bed, staring at my hands.

I finally had my life on track, a good track, and here I was, back where I was at my worst. I missed my LA friends, but I also made new friends in San Diego.

I made a mistake. Alice would naturally always welcome me, but I had no idea how everyone else would react to my sudden apearance.

I was scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of being dissapointed if Carmen refused to see me. I would never admit it to anyone, but sitting there, in the guest room, I seriously considered ending my own life. But then I thought about how hard I worked, the effort I put into changing my reckless lifestyle. I was not the Shane McCutcheon my LA friends knew.

I was Shane McCutcheon, ready to find the woman I love and admit my mistakes.

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_I stood in front of her, trying to look happy. She saw right through me, as always._

_"Carm, hey."_

_"Hi Shane."_

_I smiled at her, she didn't smile back. "What do you want?" Her voice was cold and heartless._

_"I want you, Carm. I'm so sorry, I was wrong and-"_

_"Save it."_

_It was a slap in the face. "Please, just hear me out."_

_"For five years! Shane, I waited five fucking years!"_

_I hung my head. "I know, it hasn't been easy for me either."_

_Carmen turned away. "Just go, Shane. Don't come back. I don't need your shit in my life."_

_"Carm, I need you!"_

_She looked over her shoulder and stared at me coldly. "Too bad."_

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I woke in the middle of the night, feeling empty. I prayed to a god that I didn't believe in, that when my and Carmen's paths cross, we wouldn't end up like in my dream.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Shaney? You up yet?"

I opened the door, facing a slightly flushed Alice. "Yeah, why?"

"I uhm... Shane, stay here."

I frowned. "What's going on, Al?"

She pulled me back into the room and shut the door behind her. "We have a problem."

I rolled my eyes. "So?"

Alice took a deep breath. "She came looking for you! And I lied! And she knows! God, this is bad!"

"Wait, what?"

"Carmen! She came looking for you! But I said you're not here, but she fucking knows!"

I was stunned. "How did she know?"

Alice sighed. "I don't know, Shane, but she's gonna break the door down if you don't go out there."

"You left her outside?"

"I didn't know what to do! I panicked!"

I chuckled at Alice's craziness. "I just don't think I should, Al."

"What the hell changed your mind? You have to get her back, Shane," Alice huffed. "And I don't want any screaming, Jess is still asleep."

I sighed in defeat and Alice clapped her hands together happily. "Finally!" She held the door open for me.

I passed her with a death glare. When I approached the front door, I was feeling extremely nervous.

I opened the door to find Carmen sitting on the ground. She looked up at me and I felt my heart break all over again.

She was crying, but she was still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"You really are back," she whispered, her voice hoarse from crying.

I nodded, closing the door behind me. I sat down next to Carmen, a safe distance between us.

She looked at me, frowning. "I thought I was seeing things last night. At the club. It was the first time I went out since..."

"I'm really sorry, Carmen, if you'd just let me-"

She cut me off. "I didn't think you'd come back. But when I saw you last night, I felt something. And I wanted to talk to you, but you were gone, so I figured you went off for a random fuck."

"I haven't, for almost five years," I admitted quietly.

Carmen stared at me. "I find that hard to believe, Shane."

A shiver ran down my spine when she said my name. "The last time was that night... The night I left you. I don't remember much about the girl, but I promised myself that sex would never mean anything again unless it was with you."

"I did. I even had sex with a few guys," Carmen said softly. "And every single Goddamn time it felt like I was betraying you."

I moved a bit closer. "You have no idea how sorry I am, Carmen. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I left you."

Carmen lowered her head. "And I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go."

I took her hand in mine. "But I'm here now, that's what matters."

"No," she pulled away. "You left me, Shane. And I waited. I waited through the night, hoping that you'll come back. Then the next day, I was so angry, I wanted to hunt you down and tear you to tiny pieces. But just thinking about you hurt so much that I had trouble breathing."

I had a lump in my throat and I swallowed hard. "I changed, Carmen. I changed for you."

"I don't think I can trust you right now."

I sighed. "Carmen, do you want to know what I went through? It was living hell. I never felt so bad in my life, but I fixed myself."

"Tell me," she wispered. "Tell me about your pain, and I'll tell you about mine."

I pulled out my wallet and showed Carmen the picture inside. "Do you remember that night?" I asked softly.

Carmen nodded. "I fell asleep in your lap and you refused to get up, cause you didn't wanna wake me."

The picture showed Carmen fast asleep in my arms, I had a cheesy grin on my face.

"This is what kept me alive. Every time I felt like I need to smoke, or like I needed a drink or if I wanted a random fuck, I'd just look at this picture, and my heart would break all over again, because I knew what I was missing out on, and nothing can fill this hole in me, except you."

Carmen wiped away her tears. "You quit smoking? How many times have I asked you to quit, but you never did?"

I shook my head. "I guess I finally realised that you were right, and that I should take care of myself, because you cared."

"I still care."

I looked at Carmen, but she was looking the other way.

"You know, I don't DJ anymore," she said bitterly.

"I heard. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, it was my choice. After you left, I didn't feel like doing anything. I just sulked," she sighed. "I honestly didn't think you'd come back."

I took her hand again, and this time she didn't pull away. "Carm, I'm not asking for another chance. Fuck, I'm not even asking you to be my friend, but I want to ask your forgiveness."

She closed her eyes and cried silently for a while. I just sat and held her hand.

"Shane, I've forgiven you, and myself, cause this is not just your fault," she took a breath to steady her voice. "But I'm not ready to be your friend. I don't know if I'll ever be able to give you another chance."

I grinned at her. "Hey, that's a start. Its not like I'm asking you to sleep with me."

Carmen chuckled softly. "Can I hug you?"

I nodded. "Sure."

She pulled me into a tight hug, and I felt her tears seeping through the fabric of my shirt. We held each other for what felt like eternity, until Carmen pulled away.

"That felt nice," she said.

"That's good. I liked it too."

Carmen sighed. "Fuck, I'm so hung over, I don't think I can get up."

I laughed. "Are you kidding me? Since when do you get hung over?"

"I don't remember. I just drank until I passed out last night. Or maybe this morning. But I have a huge headache from crying too."

I stood up and held out my hand. She eyed me sceptically, before taking it. I helped her to her feet and caught her when she stumbled.

"I'm sure Alice has coffee waiting for us," I said, leading her inside.

"You know," Carmen said, "A few years back, I'd have been the one leading you after you got so drunk you couldn't stand."

I chuckled. "I told you, I changed. For the better."

Carmen stopped me when we reached the door. "Shane, I think I should go home."

"I'm not letting you drive," I said.

"I walked here. I needed to clear my head."

I opened the door and ushered her inside. "Maybe the coffee will help."

Carmen nodded. "Okay, I'll have some coffee. But I really have to go then. I need to think about this. About us."

"I understand. And Carmen?"

She looked at me, half smiling. "Yeah?"

I took a deep breath, now was the moment of truth. "This time, I'm not leaving. I'm gonna be here so we can figure this out together."

Carmen touched my cheek lightly. "That means so much to me," she whispered, and then turned away.

I was a little stunned, my heart beating like I haven't felt it beat in years.

**A/N: okaay! That was a lot to take in! Let me know what you guys think and where this should go...**

**R&R? Please? (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4/5**

I sighed, resting my head on my arms. I felt Alice's eyes on me.

"Stop staring," I mumbled.

Alice huffed. "Stop sulking! You guys are talking again, that's great!"

I groaned. "We talked about the past five years, Al, that's all."

"But its a start."

"Do you have to be so fucking optimistic?"

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I tapped my phone against my leg nervously.

"Call," Alice commanded.

"No. She said she needs time to think, I'm giving her time," I said.

"Its been three days, Shane. Call her."

I sighed, dialing the number. It went to voicemail. "See," I said, throwing the phone to the table. "Voicemail."

Alice sighed. "We'll try again in an hour."

"God Alice! Fuck off okay?" I left the kitchen, breathing hard.

I stormed out of the house, not knowing where to go, but needing an escape. I didn't even notice the person I bumped into.

"Shane?"

That voice. Her voice.

"Carmen?"

She smiled, and I did too. "Hey," I said slowly.

"How are you?" She was still smiling.

"I'm okay, you?"

"Good. Real good," Carmen said. "I was actually on my way to see you."

I frowned. "Why?"

"I- I miss you. A lot. And now you're back, I just... I wanted to see you," she lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I miss you, too. I tried to call."

"Sorry."

I groaned. "Stop saying that. I need coffee. You coming?"

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"I don't really wanna talk about it," she said softly. "It was hard for me, without you."

"You don't have to tell me what you went through, if you don't want to." I wanted to know. I needed to know how much she suffered, how much I had fucked up.

"I think its gonna be better now," Carmen half-smiled. "You're staying, right?"

I nodded. "If you want me to."

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"I uh, I guess I can't stay with Alice forever. We'd kill each other."

Carmen was tearing a napkin to little shreds. "Do you wanna move in with me?" She mumbled.

I took a deep breath, thinking hard. "Don't you think we'd be moving too fast? I mean, we're going slow, right?"

"I just thought, you know, trying to be nice. Sorry I asked," Carmen sniffed.

I got up, crouched next to her and gently put my arms around her. "Please don't cry," I whispered into her sweet smelling hair. "I hate it when you cry."

Then it happened.

I felt her lips on my jaw, soft, warm lips, moving toward my own. I couldn't resist.

Our lips met in a heated kiss, years of unreleased passion exploding as our tongues touched. I gripped her hips tightly, and she leaned into my touch.

She was everywhere. Her hands in my hair, on my face, her breath mixing with mine.

And then she pulled away.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! This shouln't have happened."

I pulled her back against me, hugging her tightly. "Its okay."

"I don't want to lose what we have," she whispered.

"We have nothing, Carm. Right now, I'm just me and you're just you. There's no us," I kissed the top of her head. "But there can be."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah. I'm not running this time," I lifted her face. "Look at me."

"I missed us," she said softly.

"I missed us too."

We kissed again, this time slower. I held her face it my hands, lifting her out of the stupid, unpractical plastic chair.

Wait, what?

We were still in the coffee shop. Around people. Who were staring.

I let out a nervous chuckle, pulling away. "I think we're putting on a show."

Carmen turned away from me, facing the staring crowd. "Come on people! This is Hollywood!"

There's my feisty Carmen.

My Carmen?

"Carm? Can we go somewhere... Quieter?"

She grabbed my hand. "I'm tired of going slow. Its not like we just met. I want you."

**A/N: last chapter is the one we've all been waiting for... They get down and dirty (:**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

I threw her to the bed roughly. Carmen gasped as I kissed her neck. It was her weak spot. I kissed my way up to her jaw line. Her hands were buried in my hair. My mouth found hers. I placed a soft kiss on her lips, then pulled away. She pouted. "Don't stop!"

I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and started to pull it up slowly. She lifted her hands above her head. I threw the shirt to the ground. She reached for my shirt but I beat her to it. The offending article fell to the floor as well.

"God, Shane. I missed you," She whispered in my ear. She started sucking on my ear lobe as I moved my hands to the button of her jeans. I felt her hot breath in my neck as she left a trail of kisses there. I finished with the button and the zipper. "Get it off," I breathed. She obeyed. In an instant the jeans were added to the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

"I couldn't stop looking at your ass in those," I said to her. "Fuck, I missed doing this."

Carmen lied down on her back. "Take off your pants, McCutcheon."

I did as I was told with a grin. "I promise, I'm never leaving. This is me, making my comeback, and I'm staying for good."

Still grinning, I leaned down to kiss her collarbone. She moaned softly. I started to massage her breasts softly, to which she responded by grabbing my hips so hard it might be bruised. I picked her up a little so I could get her bra off. I did this very quick, I've done it quite a few times.

Carmen took my bra off as well. I moved my body closer to hers. I kissed from her collarbone down to her breasts. I grabbed a nipple in my mouth and the other with my hand. She grabbed my free hand and started to suck on my fingers.

I left her nipples and kissed my way down to the fabric of her lacy thong. I could feel her excitement. I grabbed the material between my teeth and pulled it down, and with a little help from Carmen, it joined the discarded pile of clothes. "Babe, do you realize how wet you are?" I asked, my voice satisfyingly husky.

"Fuck, Shane, just do it already!"

Well, an order like that just can't be resisted. I decided to tease her a bit more, though. I kissed the insides of her thighs, and moved higher. I placed a soft kiss on her hardened clit. She started to moan. My teeth grazed her and her hips bucked. I licked her slowly, flicking my tongue in and out. She tasted so good.

"Shane, oh God, oh God, Shane!"

I pulled away and gently stuck two fingers inside her. She let out a deep sigh. I started to move my fingers in and out of her, still gentle.

"God, Shane, stop playing around!"

I added another finger, moving a bit faster now.

"Oh fuck! Yes! Yes, oh God!"

She started to move against my hand, meeting my thrusts. Her need was becoming more urgent. I pushed into her even faster. I went back to kissing her clit, massaging it with my tongue.

"Shane! Fuck me! Harder, oh God, yes!"

I obeyed, thrusting harder against her. She was close to the edge. "Let go, baby, let go," I whispered to her.

Her walls contracted around my fingers.

"Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Yessssss!"

Her orgasm hit and juices flowed onto my hand as I pulled out of her. I set to work, licking her clean. I licked her off my fingers too. She was still in a bit of a daze when I kissed her softly.

"Hmm, I taste good on you." She said weakly. "But you're gonna taste better."

Suddenly she sat up and rolled onto me. "Fuck, Shane, you sill have your panties on!" She slapped me across the face. I grinned. This is something I've always loved about her. She yanked my hot pants away from my body and threw them over her shoulder. She straddled my waist and kissed me hard on the lips. When she pulled away, I knew they were swollen.

She grabbed my breasts and rolled them under her palms. Hard. She kissed my shoulder, her tongue leaving a wet trail. The next moment she bit into my neck. I gasped as pain and pleasure filled me. I could hear her laughing quietly. She kissed all the way down to my stomach, when she suddenly stopped. There was a pause. I braced myself. She bit the top part of my belly button. I groaned with delight. She chuckled and moved down.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard, Shane." She was growling like an animal. She bit down, very hard, on my clit. My hips bucked and she laughed softly. She pulled back. "Sit on the edge of the bed. Now!" Her voice was low and dangerous.

I moved to where she pointed. She got off the bed and stood in front of me. She ran a finger down my arm, down my leg, as she got down to her knees. She looked up at me. "Are you ready?"

"I was born ready, babe."

She leaned closer and bit my clit again. It sent shivers down my spine. She moved her teeth and tongue in perfect sync. I tangled my fingers into her hair. I pulled her head closer and I heard her moaning. I breathed hard. "Oh yeah, baby, like that!" I groaned. She latched onto my clit and started shaking her head from side to side. It was like something erupted inside of me. I wanted to scream, but I didn't. Shane McCutcheon does not scream. But I did growl her name. I remembered how she liked it when I did. "Make me come babe!"

She threw me onto my back with surprising strength. Without warning, she thrust four fingers inside of me. I gasped. It was mindblowing.

"You like this?" She asked.

I closed my eyes and nodded; I couldn't speak.

She began pushing into me very, very fast. I felt myself losing control.

"Fuck yes! Fuck, oh, fuck!" I was getting close. She kept her pace. The moment I came, she replaced her fingers with her mouth. In effect, I came into her mouth. She nipped at my clit again, prolonging my orgasm. I felt her tongue inside me as well. She licked me gently, every now and then biting down hard. God, she knew how to get me to last. Finally, when I was spent, she kissed me. I tasted myself on her. "Fuck, babe, that was good," I breathed against her lips.

She kissed the spot on my neck she had bitten earlier. "Its gonna leave a mark."

I grinned. In a second I had switched our positions. I was on top, straddling her.

"I'm yours. You're mine." I pinned her arms above her head with both my hands. I leaned forward and kissed her neck softly. I felt her shiver underneath me. That's when I struck. I bit hard on a very sensitive spot near her collarbone. "Fuck!" She screamed. I didn't let go. "Shane! Fuck you!"

I released her and examined the mark, her hands still in mine. She glared at me. I kissed her pouting lips. She bit my lip and pulled. I suppose I did deserve that. She let go and smiled. I let go of her hands and rolled off her.

"Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it too soon to say I love you?"

I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her. "I never stopped loving you."

**A/N: and thats it! Thank you and peace out (:**


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